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By Colleen

Today was a very long day: I stayed up until 1 am trying to finish grading before giving up and heading to bed with 8 exams left. I woke up at 7 to finish grading the exams, but then remembered I would need to finish packing my daily use items instead–hair straightener, eyeglasses, toiletries, etc.

I taught both of my classes–Shakespeare and British Literature–and inspired by a discussion I had with some of our Sartorial Scholars on self-representation, performance, and how certain disciplines may draw more focus to the instructor’s body, I brought that discussion into my Shakespeare class today.

Whereas I have previously taught Twelfth Night from the historicized viewpoint of early modern medical and theological philosophies of gender, sex, and sexual orientation, today instead we began with a larger discussion of what sex, gender, and sexuality mean in our own current medical, religious, political, and pop cultural representations before we moved onto the theories of Thomas Laqueur’s Making Sense, Judith Butler’s Gender Trouble, Stephen Greenblatt’s “Fiction and Friction” and Marjorie Garber’s Vested Interests. Then I moved back to the historical concepts. It was all really fantastic, and it made Twelfth Night’s slippery sexual and gendered representations feel really timely and important. (So, thanks to Sonnet and the discussion we had the other night!)

 

Then onto my British Literature class, and the pansexual dalliances in Christopher Marlowe’s “Hero and Leander.” I offered students some (Classical and Renaissance) sex and dating advice:

  1. Compare ladies to used brass vessels. They love that.
  2. Make sure to receive immortality from the gods before you agree to have sex with one.
  3. Use birth control when having sexy-time with waterfowl. (I feel like I offer that advice a lot)
  4. If you are spying on a goddess, make sure there are no dogs around, even if they’re your own pets.
  5. When watching the lions maul Christians at the Coliseum, remember to complement ladies on their ankles.
  6. Ladies: if you jump over a ditch you may become a man.
  7. The best cure for PMS is to burn horsehair by your nose and insert fruit into your vagina.
  8. And “Let’s listen to a rhapsode and chill.”

Really. It was a lot of helpful hints. I’m probably forgetting a few.

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9 am: Classes about to begin
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Boots & Visscher’s panorama of London 1616

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I left campus as soon as classes ended, hopped in my car, and drove to BWI airport two hours away. Then BWI to Detroit. (I’m currently sitting in Detroit Rock City on a layover between flights as I head to Iowa to see my husband and cats during my Spring Break.)

Then Detroit to Moline. And then driving Moline to Iowa City (about an hour). It will be a long day, but I will get to see my husband and cats tonight!

SPECS: With such a long day, I needed to dress comfortably and in practical clothing—no heels or dresses, and preparing for weather changes as I traveled—knowing that this outfit would be werking from 8-11.

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Copping Cindy’s pigeon-toed power stance 

I dressed Corporate Goth. (I’ve been listening to a lot of early Depeche Mode and Joy Division recently.)

 

One of my Shakespeare students said she barely recognized me today because I was not wearing bright colors, and she did not know I even owned pants.

Considering today’s sexy class subjects, maybe my sartorial mix of Eros and Thanatos was especially apropos.

The high-heeled leather booties and the leather vest add a slight kink to the sheer and romantic blouse.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, I wore my JAG bootcut jeggings (stretch all over=comfort). The sheer pussy bow blouse is from the Altazurra for Target collection (Fall 2014). I layered on top my perforated faux leather sleeveless shell (Banana Republic), and my Doc Marten booties (Jolene). The booties are great, because they have a short zipper in the front and so they slide on and off easily for airport security.

SOTD: The classic, heady, queen of big, lush white flower perfumes: Robert Piguet’s Fracas. I smell like the funeral of the richest person you can imagine.

 

 

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Detroit Airport Bathroom. Detroit is my favorite airport.
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Waiting for a shuttle at BWI. I always hope I’ll see John Waters in Baltimore, but I never do.

 

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Waiting to board… probably forgot to pack something essential 

Travel Mode: The bright accessories created a whole new outfit from the black teaching garb. 

  • I always bring a big scarf when traveling as it can become pillow, blanket, shawl, or I can cover my nose and mouth if I’m next to a passenger eating stinky foods. I brought my favorite scarf (gift from husband; Turkey) and sprayed it with Carven to protect myself from miasmas.
  • Jacket: Old Navy in my favorite bright green.
  • Sunglasses: Betsey Johnson.
  • Handbag: Kate Spade Catherine Street Pippa. This bag carries essential purse items—wallet, phone, makeup, etc.—but I can also fit my iPad or a novel (in this case, Kazuo Ishiguro’s The Buried Giant), a water bottle, and a banana.

 

Today’s Soundtrack: Joy Division playing the Apollo Theatre (UK) in 1979

 

Today’s Scholarship

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